Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize