I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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