hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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