Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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