the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
