Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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