bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
