So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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