tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
