guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
