I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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