Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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