OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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