my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
