At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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