would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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