i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
