I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
