office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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