can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
