Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
