yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
