just come out here and I will go home with you...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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