Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
