i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
