can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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