I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize