Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
