dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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