so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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