girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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