this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
