would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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