Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
