i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
me + whiskey = a bad person
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
