i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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