The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
