she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
