what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
