when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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