maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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