At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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