If i come over, it means nothing
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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