I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
