I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
third nipple confirmed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
