Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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