remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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