If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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