My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
