my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
