Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
