i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize