I want to make a zoo with you.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
