your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
