Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
ttyl tear gas
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
