hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
