You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
