Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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