is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize