Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
