You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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