Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
