Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
