That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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