i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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