i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
