I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize