just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
