Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
