windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
